The Ego Pages


Ego History / Ego Geschiedenis








My name is Renatus, Petrus, Bernardus, Antonius Meijer, or simply called René. I was born the 23 of september 1954 in Breda (in the south of the Netherlands). I am male (the first time my parents achieved this, they had two girls already). My father, as a loyal catholic, gave me this many names because in the Netherlands Meijer is a very common name. That way I would be more easily to recognize (did that happen yet?). Well, I can also call myself a master as I managed to graduate from a college education at the University of Groningen ( in the north of the country). Of course I followed an interesting course: psychology. My (deceased) father was a child-psychologist, so that's why. In my puberty he said: You can always go to the art-academy (my first choice) when you're older, but for studying you might later on lose the appetite. Therefore I followed as good as I could my second choice for psychology in stead of my first choice for (graphical) drawing. At high school I had nothing but the highest grades for my drawings. So I wanted to go the art-academy. Did my father save my sane mind? Read more about it below!

About my civil status I can say that I am unmarried. I had a couple of relationships, of which one lasted for seven years living together. Because of my convictions it never came to a marriage. My life developed that dynamically that in fact no steady partner could follow me. I have always chosen to develop my love for knowledge, in stead of my love for the material of sex and money. For that love I also participated in all kinds of social organizations that gave priority to a certain type of knowledge. That where the University, where mainly I only have studied, a postdoctorate study for independent practicing and further spiritual and religious forms of togetherness (ashrama's , monasteries, meditation centers etc). From the background of my behavioral studies I always took a lot of interest in cult activities, wondering about the human motivation behind it. Why do people do things like that?, what is missing in our society and what goes wrong with all those ideals? For that reason I visited a number of spiritual communities reminiscent of the biblical dictum " investigate all and keep the good of it". I was/took part in the Sai Baba - movement, the Hare Krsna movement, the Rajneesh movement and worked in A New Age center. Nowadays I practice independently a combination of yoga and western convictions. As a psychologist I stopped years ago practicing psychotherapy. I consciously decided so finding myself more suitable for the free self-realization I suggested to my clients always. Practice what you preach. People still can visit me for my Yoga. But everyone who wants to know I say in front that I am more interested in talking as in doing gymnastics. And then everybody leaves me alone. I am honest, so be it. I rather prefer everybody to be happy with his own self-realization not bothering anyone about how that should be done. I strive for a world where everyone is sufficiently educated, schooled and informed to cope with that as an adult.

My servitude therefore is found at the creative level. I develop all kinds of ideas and applications with which I can live very well myself and of which I presume others might benefit also. An example is The Order of Time, an internet site that figures as a participation platform where everybody can participate with his creative efforts, without being directly hindered by the ego. Because of that I do not sign for The Order personally (and someone else, even if it where the Lord Himself), cannot dominate it either, but for being a friend. If The Order rules the world, it is not me who does so, but that what I stand for, together with the people who also have sympathy with it. And if I would be the only one that would shape the The Order, even then I do not consider myself the one who has done it all. The servant of something can impossibly be that something himself. That something can exist thanks to the love of in fact the whole of society that made it possible. So who is there to thank for?

Economically I practically exist of what the government thinks is suitable as a thanks for my work delivered. Since I need rather a lot of freedom to pursue my goals, I usually live on social security, unless I sell some of my creative work or when I am appreciated for other services. I do not see myself as unemployed, but as a state-official with a minimal job-description and a maximum of dedication. Greater freedom does not imply a lesser sense of responsibility. The government may check my duties, and I let myself being paid for it. Money, to me, is more an expression for the degree to which I turned in my freedom. I am in favor of the liberated person, therefore in favor of the minimal adaptation reward called social security checks, for which other norms and values are held as for the so called salary. Often I worry about this practice of double standards, but from within the ideals of The Order of Time, I can still see a future in it. It is after all not possible to be all part of the same Order, since everybody in his life sooner or later wants to try an alternative or the opposite as a necessary psychological (political?) counterweight (with no differences no consciousness < or democracy?>). When the whole world would be in Order, then we would have the difference between people who stay home and people who travel the cosmos or something like that. To discriminate is dangerous, but still of life importance. That field of tension to me is the result of the necessity of conscious choice and control.

As far as money is concerned I am therefore minimally motivated. To me it is not so much about earning money (means of exchange). To me it is more important to honor the person. I do want to honor the person, and not so much the money. Money is not in my interest, because there is no way to get it under control. I do not invest energy in matters that I'll never be able to control. Credit-settlements with the help of credit-cards and for a government controllable credit actions create the possibility of reinforcement and conditioning that are necessary to arrive at a good and equitable functioning social order. Banking secrets, uncontrollable possessions of money, certifies crime too much. With controllable credit settlements one cannot steal anymore, only sharing is possible. Openness makes crime impossible, also computercrime. One can never spend more creditpoints than were formally accredited; even when you try to cheat it as much as you can, the central account must add up. The shadow it casts is that openness obliges to responsibility, and to that one must be able to say no.

For myself I fantasize about a moneyless world controlled by credit systems that e.g. reinforce the interest of a society without alcohol, cigarettes, eating meat (and other abuse of living beings) and sexual abuse. But if one would forbid these weaknesses by means of the law, then my life would have no meaning anymore either. All the gold in the vaults of the world may as far as I am concerned be confiscated by the government to be melted for free weddingrings that in case of separation have to be returned. Maybe more people want to marry normally if one is not fined for it, but rewarded. Maybe the government can even arrange for a marriage subsidy to reinforce that kind of normal and wanted behavior. The most important product of the enterprise that is The State (the World State?) as I would like to see it, is order and the wellbeing and the peace of all participants. In fact I fantasize about a formal order that at the level of the state functions the way a family does in the care for her members.



What I want is the following: I want a world government with a sufficient sense of responsibility to save this planet from a complete downfall. In my opinion we've lost control in our relationship with nature.The population cannot increase endlessly as long as we are on this planet and we cannot continue on old methods when we need to feed more and more people and need to organize ourselves more and more. The climate is changing and we do not do all the necessary that can be done because the forces are not joined lacking a common concept of order. Nor can we abolish the existing order and everything we have worked for. For the chaos in the world I want a democratic world government that by the rule of majority can take the right decisions. In order to do so there is needed a good and efficient non-destructive ideologically sound information culture as e.g. the internet, so that each world citizen has the freedom himself to choose in consideration of the alternatives. What I also want is: no taxes, no police and no armies. In stead of that I want a formal order that has a clear credit- policy of reinforcing and conditioning on a rational basis with a clearly described purpose. In concrete: the army must be part of a formal, also civil order of social control (one cannot escape from that, so face it), in which is clearly described against what one is fighting. As the common enemy one can recognize ignorance so that the strife is about free available information and how a culture like that should be propagated. This in general. Practically the enemy must take the form of a problem that can be recognized by the whole of mankind (about which one agrees democratically). This e.g. can be the world food situation, or the desertification. One e.g. could say: let the N.A.S.A. first rule the planet as if it was a spaceship, before they go ahead on the Moon or Mars, and let all the military of the world be their personnel. Thus: clearly recognizable formal identities that together take the responsibility for the food, the clothing, the housing and the climate-control (by means of vegetation). When N.A.S.A. gets the assignment to cultivate and populate all deserts and use all the military in the world for it, then for the time being we will be busy enough on this planet and on the proper way.

Of course this formal order (e.g. called the W.A.S.O. , the World Association of Social Order) must subscribe to a common discipline to preclude internal and external conflicts of power. This discipline can only rest upon the concept of free participation to that W.A.S.O.: no one can be obliged to it, even if it is to your own free choice the job of your life. The discipline itself cannot be alienated from the common denominator of all humanities disciplines in the world, including the scientific disciplines. That means that one has to derive from a harmony-model of free access and free negation. That harmony model must be ecologically conscious, meaning not in conflict with nature but scouting it in a conscious and creative way without destroying it. Clocks for instance may be in accord with the position of the sun like calendars being in accord with that division of clock-time, but according to The Bible (and the democracy) it can never be imposed on mankind by means of a minority vote. Even as a minority everybody must be free at all times to say yes or no against it.(otherwise we will be of 'Beast Number Four' according to the dream of Daniel 7:25).



I am not convinced that I can change the world on my own. But I am convinced of it either that I can stop that change (for the worse eventually). The thing I am convinced of is that I can direct my own change in the proper direction and that I can creatively adapt myself to changing times without getting possessed by the devil (the anger, the passion, lust, deceit and lies). I am also convinced that I can give the proper example to others and that that can do good to the world. I am a healthy person who does not believe in being a sinner (which I think is unhealthy or insane). As far as I am concerned I am holy to my own standards, but I do consider myself a profiteer of society, just as I consider others to be as such. That benefit that I and others derive from society obliges me to deliver a counter-service. I am unhappy or even (mentally) ill when I do not succeed to accomplish that service, as then I feel like a thief about everything that I possess or even am able to do. I am convinced that it is a collective mental health interest to stay ahead of the madness of warfare and to cure from it before it destroys the world as ravaging as a contagious disease (like the Plague did in the Middle Ages breaking out every thirty years). Therefore I am in favor of systematically appreciating one another in a type of culture (notably via de media, but also very necessarily directly so now and then). I believe in one God and imagine me to that the Almighty Time that subdues and conditions all living creatures in the form of an omnipotent, omnipresent and all-knowing Order no one is able to change, whatever time-settings one tries. God to me is considering a form rationally simply the power and reality of good collective and individual habits of life, you simply have to believe in. Not believing or doubting all kinds of human habits is of course also of importance, as habits however considered as being good can also imply a resistance against God or natural changes (evolution?). It is e.g. a good habit to take useful vitamins by means of eating a meat-dish. But it is a bad habit to maintain at all cost that that meat-eating is therefore necessary or harmless as if there wouldn't exist an other, more healthy, source of vitamins (and proteins) that would rely less on abuse (unnecessary destruction) of other living beings. An other example is sex: it is a good habit to let go sexually and to stay spontaneous, but it is a bad habit to uphold that that wouldn't be in need of a settlement in the form of a marriage or steady relationship that would associate the sex with a purpose: namely the formation of a bond for the sake of (e.g.?) breeding offspring. I believe that a certain tolerance for polygamy to a great extend can liberate society of neglect in extramarital sexual relations. When one is not convinced of the necessity of the need of biological procreation and when one is not willing to marry, polygamy of others wouldn't form an objection. Maybe we will be better people if it is not always about the primitive notion of the 'highest status' of the animal selfinterest of procreation and everything else thereto, but if for a change we also would be concerned about the 'highest status' of delivering a cultural contribution (possibly a more important form of delivering a 'byproduct').

Concerning the personal aspect of God, the Lord, His associates and His cultures (religions), I am convinced of one Lord that time and again takes another form for different cultures, era's and climes. Thus in India I am a Hindu, in Arabia a Muslim, in China a Confucianist, with taoistic-buddhistic sympathies, around the mediterranean sea a roman person and in the rest of the free West a reformed greco-roman scientifically cultured 'believer' with a healthy european inclination towards free nature (worship of the sun, forests and the sea). I consider religion a school of learning for the independence of a unique selfrealization. As a christian, e.g. I do not attend to church anymore, but I will not deny His person either (not to speak about other religious identities of mine). From a practical point of view I prefer to be engaged in yoga-activities and the spiritual discipline(s) that go with it. Devotional activities in temples, mosques and churches I consider more for the sake of a refresher course in case of warfare (or more personal conflicts as e.g. a power conflict within a marriage). During peace-time I do not feel the urge for it. Psychotherapy as an alternative form of lay-care I consider without doubt useful, but I think about it as I do about religious care: it is important to see the end, the limitations and side-effects thereof (fanaticism because of a lack of philosophy or dryness lacking commitment).



I love animals, but only in the freedom of nature. I love plants a lot, provided that they know to manage themselves. I also love people provided that they do not demand too much of me or are bothering me otherwise (I am not really fit for the job of psychotherapy). I like to conform to the expectations, but then it must be according a system of proper agreements like e.g. proposed by The Order of Time. I love nice vegetarian food and also like to cook at times according a recipe of my own or of the vedic kitchen. I don't like cigarettes myself, nor when smoked by others, eating meat and alcohol and drinking coffeine coffee or black tea. I do love hash, but only as a medicine for when I have fallen in love, or else it would only dull me. I do love woman but feel myself a bit too old for it to seriously chase them these days. The 25th anniversary of that kind of activities wouldn't be a great party. So let's forget the sexist motivation. I am glad to be able to respect people for their humanity without considering them a sexobject or -competitor. Nevertheless I loved sex (but only lasting heterosexual with someone else as opposed to the experimental past) and used to like the idea of putting some children on the world when I would have had the chance for it also to take care of them and educate them to a tradition of family-bound honor (a wifeand a life I thus never found to it). But 2005 past my fiftieth birthday I no longer consider it responsible to make babies being that old. My chldren must have a father also at an advanced age.

In my free time I prefer to occupy myself with music. In the past, during my college education I used to play the guitar for hours to compensate for the dry bookknowledge (I am in favor of what Da Vinci held: to balance art with science is the proper strategy of health management for the lateral brain). After having been in love, that quickly became less, upon which I started to experiment with a digital piano. Combined with a computer now I have found a nice way to make music without directly having to sweat for the control over an instrument (which spoils to my idea the joy of making music). Singing I liked to do religiously and for the Order I did develop this love further.

Further I like to go to the cinema and watch films and documentaries on t.v. (also other programs, commercials or music clips sometimes). Sometimes I write about it, analyzing the films the way Freud analyzed dreams.

Dancing I also like, although I no longer can chase young woman for that kind of thing. I do not like to reflect on my age, but do have to take some responsibility for my age. As far as dancing is concerned I will let go if I get a chance. During a pop-concert or something alike on evenings for adults.

As a sport I like to swim, and for years in my youth I practiced Judo. I also played basketball for while , played some tennis, squashed and have regularly walked the park. Ever since I found the harmony and control of yoga nothing much of these sportive activities happens anymore (I am a vegetarian now, so I can take it more easy). I still like to ride the bicycle though.

Despite of my college education only rarely I read printed books these days (only internet e-books and articles). Stacks of paper make me desperate and turn my hair gray. Since the computer and the internet I finally know what my objections against printed material are: it is a hopeless, inefficient, possessive and destructive kind of lusty voodooculture. Nor do I listen to records that much anymore, despite of my love for music. I no longer collect records, books or photographs since I sold everything to be able to travel the woprld in the eighties. The 15th Cakra day I have as a day for studying. and I normally watch t.v. in the evening (except for the 7th and 14th Cakra day, because then I go down town). I do for a change listen to the radio or a c.d. I spend whole (working-) days (with a maximum of twelve hours) at my computer as well as for fun (maximally six hours) as for my work - is it a hobby? (also maximally 6 hours). In the past in my adolescence I used to draw a lot, especially graphic drawings. That I do not do anymore except for some internet graphics with my computer. I'd like to spend more time on surfing the internet, but normally I'm too busy except for study days. I think the internet is the ideal medium for creative and culture-loving people.

N.B.: Also see renown ego's for a more personal vision on the history of the ego: the ego as a time-organizer. The page gives information about - and lays a link between those historical celebrities with which I can identify myself and about which I can say: these are the lives that could have led to the life I am living now (also interesting for the ones believing in reincarnation).